Growing a Friendship (F8)

ByJim Stephens

Scripture: 3 John 2; Proverbs 18:24; Proverbs 27:6

Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit. (3 John 2 NLT) There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24 NLT) Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. (Proverbs 27:6 NLT)

Growing a Friendship – Some Thoughts: (Please read GN 03-07-24 “No Allies Nearby”).

  • In seeking to grow a deep friendship, focus on being a friend, not getting a friend.
  • Meet regularly to grow the relationship. Once the relationship is matured, it can maintain with less frequent meetings.
  • Be patient with the development pattern and process of the friendship. Don’t put too much burden on the relationship to be a certain way. Allow it to develop organically.
  • Grow gradually in mutual respect and trust. As you know more and more about each other, keep respect and trust strong.
  • As the trust and honesty level grows, give mutual permission to ask questions and share concerns. But don’t try to “fix” each other!
  • As trust grows, honest confession can take place. When you confess sins of the mind and heart in an atmosphere of love and trust, transformation will take place. Also, when you confess sins of the mind and heart, it will often stop them from becoming sins of the flesh. Wash, rinse, repeat! Confess, repent, move on.
  • Don’t take yourselves too seriously! Loosen up! Develop the ability to laugh at yourselves, to weep with those who weep, and rejoice with those who rejoice.
  • Learn to simply be quiet. In a maturing friendship there’s less need to be saying or doing something all the time. Sometimes nothing needs to be said or done!
  • Don’t allow jealousy or exclusivity to taint the relationship. This is a friendship, not a marriage! Develop other friendships and share what you’ve learned.
  • Friendships have seasons. Age, stage of life, geographical distance, new networks of relationships, may all bring changes in the level and intensity of the friendship. Recognize the season. Value the friendship highly, but hold it loosely.

Friends, I’d love to hear your friendship stories and the friendship lessons you’ve learned from life. Please feel free to respond by replying to this email or social media post.

Prayer:

Father, Please help my friends and me to value and develop friendships that help keep our souls healthier. Heal us from friendship wounds of the past and give us hope and faith for life-giving friendships in the present and future. For the Kingdom’s Sake!